POEM FOR THE WOMEN

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee,
and I can justify
any shopping spree.

Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without getting a hard-on.

I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends
about the size of my ass.

My beauty's a masterpiece
and yes, it takes long.
At least I admit it
to others when I'm wrong.

I don't drive in circles,
my pride! at all cost.
I don't have a problem
admitting I'm lost.

I'm proud that I never
forget important dates.
You've just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually late.

I don't watch movies
with blood, guts and gore.
Don't need instant replay
to remember the score.

I won't lose my hair,
I won't get jock itch.
And just 'cause I'm assertive,
don't call me a bitch!

Don't say to your friends,
"Oh yeah, I can get her."
In your dreams, my dear,
'cause I can do better!

Flowers are okay,
but jewelry's best.
Look at me, you idiot...
NOT at my chest !!!

I don't have a problem,
expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.

DON'T call me a girl,
a babe or a chick.
I am a WOMAN.
Do you get it? You DICK!?!