Tuesday, August 21, 2007

ONLY ON A ROAD TRIP

I'm not terribly fond of flying, but I love to drive...so given the chance, I'll take a road-trip any day. Aside from avoiding airplanes, one reason is all the great and funny things you see on the road. On the return trip from VAB, we stopped for gas at a little station just off the Interstate. I stopped the car and a blond guy sporting dreadlocks approached. He had his own soundtrack...the beat of music blaring from the service building. I immediately noticed this sign on the door:

All directions are $1.00 each.

On all my travels, I have never seen a sign like that. Ever. I'm sure it gets to be a real pain in the ass to give lost tourists directions, but I've always found the friendly approach gets plenty of help. As I pondered it, Unstoppable asked Jimi where the restrooms were.

"Gettin' gas?" he mumbled. I think conversation wearies him.

"Yes, please" I jumped in. "Fill it up."

He pointed around the corner. "You can use it, but there's no toilet paper." He turned his back on her and began to pump the gas.

"No paper." She laughed her friendly little laugh. "Ever?"

The most unamused expression I've ever seen accompanied the sharing of this great injustice... "I put it out, people steal it."

Hmmm. The pump was on automatic and our server headed back to join his girlfriend who was rockin' out in the glass-fronted building. I gave my sister the HURRY the phuck up look, and willed the pump to pump faster...I wasn't scared, but trying not to crack up. As I stood leaning against my car, Jimi's girlfriend gave him a lapdance that *lucky me* could watch right through the plate glass window. Whoohoo! Just imagine. If I'd taken a plane, I wouldn't be able to say I've been to a gas station that won't provide toilet paper, charges for directions...but puts on a wicked ass lapdance show for FREE!!

No doubt about it, Jimi. I'm sure people all over northern Pennsylvania are lying in wait, ready to risk it all, just to steal toilet paper you've touched!!

1 comment:

SINFUL said...

I think we both know what Jimi's doing with that toilet paper . . .

Funny story Tweet . . . but then you see the world a little differently than most . . . I think it must be fun inside your head!!!!!