Even though I desperately need some new clothes, I only got socks*, and acquired the following sure-fire recipe:
WOE-IS-ME
WOE-IS-ME
One - Mall
Two - Teenaged Girls
Dash - I'm Shopping for ME, Not You.
Stir gently for 20 minutes. When chemical reaction creates Long Face, add a pinch of Knock-It-Off and agitate until an Honest, I Don't Beat Them sign becomes necessary. Remove mixture and let sit while excuses rise. Once Sulleness is achieved, add a generous sprinkling of I'll Remember This Behaviour and wait two minutes before enjoying Woe-Is-Me.
Best served with I Have The Worst Mother In The World. Yield may vary according to density of Teenage Girls.
*They're really cute socks : )
TEENAGERS & CATS ~ Author Unknown
They really have a lot in common...
- Neither turn their heads when you call them.
- No matter what you do for them, it's not enough. Indeed all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the priviledge of waiting on them hand and foot.
- You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager wants to be seen in public with his/her parents.
- Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teenager will ever crack a smile.
- No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.
- Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
- Cats have nine lives. Teenagers behave as though they do too.
- Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
- Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
- Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behaviour.
- Therefore, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times.
** And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.**
TEENAGERS & CATS ~ Author Unknown
They really have a lot in common...
- Neither turn their heads when you call them.
- No matter what you do for them, it's not enough. Indeed all humane efforts are barely adequate to compensate for the priviledge of waiting on them hand and foot.
- You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teenager wants to be seen in public with his/her parents.
- Even if you tell jokes as well as Jay Leno, neither your cat nor your teenager will ever crack a smile.
- No cat or teenager shares your taste in music.
- Cats and teenagers can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
- Cats have nine lives. Teenagers behave as though they do too.
- Cats and teenagers yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy -- a sense of complete and utter boredom.
- Cats and teenagers do not improve anyone's furniture.
- Cats that are free to roam outside sometimes have been known to return in the middle of the night to deposit a dead animal in your bedroom. Teenagers are not above that sort of behaviour.
- Therefore, if you must raise teenagers, the best sources of advice are not other parents, but veterinarians. It is also a good idea to keep a guidebook on cats at hand at all times.
** And remember, above all else, put out the food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. When they make up their minds, they will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.**
3 comments:
"Needs clothes, only got socks", I feel your pain sistah!
Ahhh...shopping with our children. Ain't it grand? Honestly, no. No it's not. It's a real pain and I think it should be outlawed!
needs jeans that don't fall down when pulled on from an angle...WARNING do not pull on my pants and I won't bend over and we are all safe!
Needs a "free drinks" shirt (or two)....
Glad you got the socks though, no telling when Rex will stage a sit-out:)
LOL! You mean it doesn't get easier as they get older?? And it's not just girls... my teen son is a clothes horse... can't go to Kohl's without him trying to get me to buy him something.
BTW, I love socks! I use to buy just plain black or white depending what I needed them for. And now I am buying cute ones for myself as well as for the girls... thank gawd this is one are where we all wear the same size!
Post a Comment