Thursday, February 22, 2007


One of the great mysteries of life: Why is it when I need sleep the most, it is most elusive??? If I was lettuce, I'd be looking pretty damn good right now since I tossed all night. That'll be my excuse for any greenish tinge today. Ack, it was worth a try.

Manimal Family had a meeting with doctors and social workers last night. Tests show the damage to his heart is continuing. I don't have a freaking clue what that means because I'm getting info from five stressed-out sources. Tippy and Manimal accept the doctors view that nothing more can be done - only time will tell when his heart gives out. They've started doing shifts so there's a family member with him at all times. Manimal asked me to come out as soon as I feel comfortable Mamacita is stable.

Depending on how things go in Kingston today, I may try to get the last flight to Vancouver tonight. Supah Stah and Sweet Pea are old enough to take care of Sugah Pie. Thank goodness for friends, all I had to do was ask and someone will be looking in on Mamacita. I still have to get in touch with Beebles and Motorman...after all, she belongs to them too.

Manimal feels his dad is ready. He asked him to make sure his mom was always taken care of. One sister, T-Baby, is ready because she wants her dad's pain to end. One sister, CatNip, wants to know why things weren't done differently five years ago. One sister, Mermaid, is in total denial. Ted asked her not to be mad at him "if he has to go." She freaked...started crying and saying she would be mad, that he's her dad and he can't leave, she won't let him...then T-Baby and CatNip started ragging on her. Manimal's the oldest, so big brother settled them down, but I can hear it's all wearing on him. So wish I'd been there to help. Mermaid and I really connect emotionally, and of course, I've also been where they are right now.

How excruciatingly painful and terrifying it was to whisper the last words I spoke to my dad, "It's okay now. Do what you need to do." Until I did, it remained another great mystery: How do you give a loved one that final gift - your blessing to die - yet, how can you not?


Anonymous said...

oh R&R, I am teary....I am so sorry for all this....

hang in there!

Good vibes to you and your family

Janet W. said...

Do NOT, under any circumstances, take a stress test -- I doubt there's one that goes up that high! Like Brenda said, I'm so sorry -- what you & yours are going through.

Would I sound naggy if I suggested you power take Vitamin C?

And by the way, what an amazing alliteration! Tossed like lettuce: I am so stealing that!!!!

Hugs m'dear :)

Lemon Stand said...

There is no easy way to say goodbye but being surrounded by family who love you is probably the most peaceful. Thoughts and prayers are with you!

Anonymous said...

Hopefully, your trip will be uneventful and things work out for everyone. I'm sorry if one of his sisters is upset.. it's hard to let go but sometimes it's necessary.

Atleast everyone is there to see him.

If you find a library and get a chance to post... keep us updated. If not, we'll catch up when you return.


Anonymous said...

Oh gawd, R&R, words fail me and you know how uncommon that state is for me.

Continued prayers to you, Mamacita, Manimal and the rest of the family.

You may feel like WILTED lettuce, but you're doing good, Tweet. Hang in there.


SINFUL said...

Nobody is right, nobody is wrong and everyone is in pain. Wouldn't it be grand to be able to celebrate at the end somehow instead of after it?

Sorry Robyn.

Anonymous said...

You showed(and gained even more) inner strength by allowing your father that "gift" and you are now going off to offer that strength to yet another family in need.

It is times like this that people who know and love you, feel honored that you have touched their lives.

You are such a special angel...


DTF said...

R&R...continued good thoughts being sent your way. Hopefully all involved will find some peace with whatever happens. I love your last true, how can we not?

Tango said...

R&R ~ I can only say, "Ditto" to what has already been said. You are such a strong, beautiful woman and I admire you. Continually lifting everyone up in prayer.


V-Medic said...

I am so sorry Tweet. Know that you and your family are in my heart and on my mind when I say my prayers. ...V