Monday, February 19, 2007

CALL IT WHAT IT IS

Still no word on when Mamacita goes to Kingston. She's doing well and spent most of the day sleeping. We went for a visit tonight and she looks good and is in fine spirits, but I've gotta confess...I smuggled in a chocolate bar. Yeah, I know, bad, bad daughter and all that. I can't help it. When a woman calls me begging for chocolate, I'm a jellyfish. The guilt-ridden nightmares my subconcious will inflict on me tonight will probably be doozies.

From the odd converstations of the evening file: Sweet Pea's friend was telling her about the video they watched in Dance Class...instructional lap dancing :o) Goodness me, talk about forward-thinking education for 17 year old girls. I mean, really, who wants their daughter learning this sort of life-skill out on the streets??? Heck no, not I! Let them learn it in the classroom, damnit - that's what my taxes are for!!!

So, would I be alone in thinking
it's a tad odd that the Grade 11 Health teacher, at the same school, is not allowed to use a certain word in the classroom when teaching SexEd? Can you guess what it is? C'mon, friends, put your filthy, little minds to work...

I'll give you a hint...

...using this euphamism...

...not to be confused with a cop-out...

...she's been instructed to call it single sex...

...which I guess is supposed to be a much healthier way of saying...

...what she isn't allowed to say...

M.A.S.T.U.R.B.A.T.I.O.N. *gasp*

There. I said it. Masturbation.

Masturbation cannot be said in my 17 year old daughter's SexEd class. Instead, the teacher must call it, "single sex." {Insert amazing restraint here: Hmmm. So many jokes at men's expense, so little time.} Single sex, huh? When are educators gonna get it right? It's called masturbation. We know it. They know it. These young adults are laughing at your euphamisms.

Since I've said masturbation four filthy times, you should probably go clean your monitor. Put your glasses on and shave your palms while you're at it. No, damnit, that's your seeing eye dog! I said your shave your hairy palms!! Obviously there's no help for a dirty skank like me.

Then Sweet Pea shared this Inkblot test she got from another teacher, and said, "I don't think it works because mine said my psyche is ruled by sexuality."

Holy Keerist, kid, OF COURSE it did!!!! You and your peers are walking hormones and some wizard in an office is still sending the message that a perfectly normal part of human sexuality is dirty, which is messin' ya up more than us parents ever did!

Outrage is exhausting me, peeps. I'm just going to sit and contemplate a school system that should have dueling banjoes for it's soundtrack. The inkblot test takes about 20 minutes and it's kind of fun. They try to nab you with special offers at the end, so keep hitting skip. My results:

Robyn, your subconscious mind is driven most by PEACE. You have a deeply-rooted desire to make peace in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with loved ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to be able to influence the world in a positive way. You have a deep respect for humankind. You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it, and you inspire others to feel the same way. Your innate drive toward peace guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Teachers are going to hate me. I'm going to tell them what things are, use the proper words for it and if they don't like it.. tough.

Little boy is still home.

Projectiles during the night. Of course after feeling like crap from noon to 3am... he's fine now..

Why are they never sick during the day???

V-Medic said...

Yet ANOTHER thing to look forward to as my demons get older....lol. Tell me Tweet, do they assign a lot of homework in that class????lol....Keeping you and your Mom in my prayers...hugs....V:0)

SINFUL said...

But, but . . . if changing the name makes it easier/more acceptabe to talk about, teach about, DO - change it. The ultimate safe-sex and so much more reasonable and enjoyable than abstaining!!

DTF said...

Good point, Sinful. Although you know the kids ARE laughing behind the teachers back anyway. Of course, they're teens... they will laugh no matter what it is called.

R&R... so sorry it took me so long to get here... Hope your mom is doing better... keeping her and you in my thoughts. Keep us updated!

Roses said...

The fifth grade version of our sex ed classes don't even say "sperm". They use "sex cell".

For real? Yeah. It's stupid.

It took me forever to figure out what my own child was trying to ask me.
"Mom, what's a sex cell?"
"Never heard of it, son. Can you tell me where you heard it? Under what context?"

It was a frustrating conversation while the poor boy tried to shrink smaller and smaller from embarassment.