Sunday, December 24, 2006

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE...


It's a record-breaker at the Zoo...EVERYTHING is DONE and we're ready for tonight's arrival of two very special guys - jolly old St. Nick, and of course, Captain Canada will be home by 10 pm!! : ) : ) : ) All that's left is to enjoy the family and some cooking, which is a joy for me to do.

Not everyone feels the same about preparing holiday meals...

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin and groanin.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest.
This rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!

Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.

There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
Frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, desserts almost done;
My cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.

I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
Then grins as he chuckles, "The eggnog is ready!"

He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet?"
As quick as a flash I reach for a knife;
He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!

He flees from the room in terror and pain
and screams, "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh damn, it's the pies! They're burned all to hell!

I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, if I live till next year,
you won't find me pulling my hair out in here.

I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn't work, I'll have it all catered!!!

Wishing you and yours the very merriest Christmas, filled with love, joy and laughter. Blessings to all!

2 comments:

Lemon Stand said...

LOL! Merry Christmas!

Janet Webb said...

Have the happiest of Christmases -- thanks for making my days brighter :) I hope you find some curl-up with a good book time after the 25th!

Hugs!