An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists. The terrorist leader said, "Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Please let me know what you wish to talk about."
The Englishman replied, "I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown."
The Canadian replied, "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity."
The American replied, "Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking."
***
An American, a Scotsman and a Canadian are driving in a car when they hit some black ice and have a terrible accident. All three are thrown out of the car and are killed instantly. The next thing they know they are standing outside the gates of Heaven. There is an enormous line-up of people waiting to go through the gates. It is pure chaos: there are dozens of angels trying to keep everyone in line and in order.
One of the three asks an angel what's going on.
The angel tells him that there was a huge flood, a gigantic earthquake, a hurricane, tornadoes, etc. and that now there is a backlog of souls to be processed. "Tell you what, though," says the harried angel. "We want to get rid of all this paperwork, so if you give me $500, I'll send you back to the real world right now."
The American realizes this is a great deal. He whips out his wallet and pays the angel $500 on the spot.
*POOF!* The American is back at the accident scene. He stands up and is perfectly healthy. The cops and paramedics are amazed at this miraculous recovery and ask him what happened. The American relates the story.
One cop scoffs at him. "What about the other two guys?" he asks. "Why are they still dead?"
The last I saw of them," the American says, "The Scotsman was trying to talk the price down and the Canadian was saying 'Shouldn't the government pay for this?'!"
***
The Englishman replied, "I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown."
The Canadian replied, "Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity."
The American replied, "Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking."
***
An American, a Scotsman and a Canadian are driving in a car when they hit some black ice and have a terrible accident. All three are thrown out of the car and are killed instantly. The next thing they know they are standing outside the gates of Heaven. There is an enormous line-up of people waiting to go through the gates. It is pure chaos: there are dozens of angels trying to keep everyone in line and in order.
One of the three asks an angel what's going on.
The angel tells him that there was a huge flood, a gigantic earthquake, a hurricane, tornadoes, etc. and that now there is a backlog of souls to be processed. "Tell you what, though," says the harried angel. "We want to get rid of all this paperwork, so if you give me $500, I'll send you back to the real world right now."
The American realizes this is a great deal. He whips out his wallet and pays the angel $500 on the spot.
*POOF!* The American is back at the accident scene. He stands up and is perfectly healthy. The cops and paramedics are amazed at this miraculous recovery and ask him what happened. The American relates the story.
One cop scoffs at him. "What about the other two guys?" he asks. "Why are they still dead?"
The last I saw of them," the American says, "The Scotsman was trying to talk the price down and the Canadian was saying 'Shouldn't the government pay for this?'!"
***
Yeah, I know this post has absolutely nothing to do with coffee break, but I was on the phone with Tink and she suggested it.
: )
1 comment:
OK, this solidifies it: I'm voting you Queen Bee in the laugh out loud blog sweepstakes ... the prize, interestingly, is indescribable ... so being lectured by a Canadian is like being nibbled to death by ducks! Frickin' A :D ... Sorry GBG ... how about two Canadian first borns being married to each other with three American children ... can you say disfunctional family?
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