Wednesday, April 11, 2007

ALRIGHTY...

It's Crazy Time at the Zoo, folks. Spring is in the air and the animals are out of control. I've received several Where the hell are you? Are You Okay? emails. Thanks for the concern, no major problems here, huge apologies for my absence, so sorry for the inconvenience...it must really suck to work instead of reading my blog, huh? I'm constantly surprised you keep coming back to read this thing. Really. I'm just not that interesting. Yet, you return. The Ego Feeder known as SiteMeter tells me so. I'm humbled.

Okay, maybe humbled isn't the right word. Amazed might be more appropriate. Or alarmed. Especially when I see some of the Google searches that brought one hit wonders to visit, for a whopping one second, before realizing they were in da wrong place. Would it be a safe bet to say the dude from Norfolk, Virginia who googled, "R.oxy R.ebel P.orn" was a little disappointed to arrive here? Yep, you Google that little phrase the right way, and my blog is the number one result. ICKY.

Or someone in New York City who googled, "Got crabs" and wound up here. After I stopped saying, "Ewwwww..." I tried to imagine their frustration, searching the 'net for information on such a delicate matter, and stumbling upon my irrelevant little corner of the www.

One can only hope at some point the dumbass realized if you think you might have crabs, you probably DO!!! You need a doctor, not the 'net, you frikin' moron. Leave your mom's basement for something other than the dirty, skanky ho you spent your allowance on last month, and get thee to a clinic. Do not stop off where you suspect you got the crabs from. Ever. Again. Got it?

3 comments:

Janet W. said...

Such a Suspicious mind you have my friend! Perhaps the searcher was looking for a lovely astrological T-shirt since he or she was born under the sign of the Moon. Or could it have been someone madly looking for the perfect recipe for the soft-shelled crabs just purchased.

I'm just saying! Glad to see you're out of hibernation :)

Anonymous said...

Ahem -- My email was subjected with a nice, neutral "How are you?" and then it descended into a very self-centered All About Me whine-fest. Yes, I confess, I'm a Ranger's Report junkie. You're absence in the blogosphere is not only noted but felt. How's that for a nice little guilt trip? Oh, right, you're a mom - you send people on those you don't succumb to others' efforts.

Prof

Anonymous said...

What you think you should get out of blogging...

Nope, sorry...

S.