I'm gathering documents to send with my passport application. Oh, what fun. Honestly, what ticks me off the most is that I let it expire years ago, so it's kick mine own self in the butt time.
I have a couple of trips planned for next year, and travelers flying into the U.S. will require a passport beginning January 23rd. The talks continue about allowing Canadians to drive over the border, however, having a little blue book of my own will eventually be demanded by the stern boarder guards. You know the ones - they wear the spiffy blue uniforms and had their sense of humour surgically removed. It's probably safest to get my passport now in order to avoid being asked why I don't have one. I'd start babbling a long, convoluted story and probably end up in questioning for hours. I totally crumble when faced with authority figures. It's quite pathetic.
Best to do my babbling here. So here's a question. The Canadian flag is red & white. Our Olympians wear red and white uniforms. When people think of Canada, we think red & white. Yet, our passport covers are navy blue. Our border guards wear navy blue uniforms. Why is that??? That's not very Canadian. I think Canadian passports should be red. With white lettering. AND the border guard uniforms should be red. With white shoes!! Wouldn't that be grand? We'd be boldly saying, "Welcome to Canada!" Going through customs would be downright festive. I bet even the guards who had to look at their co-workers would find their sense of ha-ha pretty quick.
Maybe I should write a letter to Ottawa suggesting it. Our reputation worldwide is that we're such a happy, friendly people. Let's look like it. : )
Letter-writing...another great Canadian tradition, fodder for another blog. A friend emailed this joke letter to me, and it perfectly sums up why Canadians are balking at getting passports.
Dear Mr. Harper,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a TV cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
For crying out loud, do you guys do this by hand?? My birth date, you have on my social insurance card, on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years, my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last eight bloody passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Betty, my father's name is Ernie and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die? Man!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really ticked off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my freakin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals workin' there?!? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?? I don't want to dig up Yasir Arafat, for crying out loud. I just want to go and park my butt on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you care whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?!? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too easy! You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some bozo to confirm that it's really me on the stupid picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!?
Hey, you know why we can't smile?? We're pissed off!
I'm sorry.
I have a couple of trips planned for next year, and travelers flying into the U.S. will require a passport beginning January 23rd. The talks continue about allowing Canadians to drive over the border, however, having a little blue book of my own will eventually be demanded by the stern boarder guards. You know the ones - they wear the spiffy blue uniforms and had their sense of humour surgically removed. It's probably safest to get my passport now in order to avoid being asked why I don't have one. I'd start babbling a long, convoluted story and probably end up in questioning for hours. I totally crumble when faced with authority figures. It's quite pathetic.
Best to do my babbling here. So here's a question. The Canadian flag is red & white. Our Olympians wear red and white uniforms. When people think of Canada, we think red & white. Yet, our passport covers are navy blue. Our border guards wear navy blue uniforms. Why is that??? That's not very Canadian. I think Canadian passports should be red. With white lettering. AND the border guard uniforms should be red. With white shoes!! Wouldn't that be grand? We'd be boldly saying, "Welcome to Canada!" Going through customs would be downright festive. I bet even the guards who had to look at their co-workers would find their sense of ha-ha pretty quick.
Maybe I should write a letter to Ottawa suggesting it. Our reputation worldwide is that we're such a happy, friendly people. Let's look like it. : )
Letter-writing...another great Canadian tradition, fodder for another blog. A friend emailed this joke letter to me, and it perfectly sums up why Canadians are balking at getting passports.
Dear Mr. Harper,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a TV cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
For crying out loud, do you guys do this by hand?? My birth date, you have on my social insurance card, on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years, my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last eight bloody passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Betty, my father's name is Ernie and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die? Man!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really ticked off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my freakin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals workin' there?!? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden?? I don't want to dig up Yasir Arafat, for crying out loud. I just want to go and park my butt on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you care whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?!? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too easy! You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some bozo to confirm that it's really me on the stupid picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?!?
Hey, you know why we can't smile?? We're pissed off!
I'm sorry.
2 comments:
Got mine when I went to Boston last Oct. Although it isn't necessary yet, it certainly was convienient right up until the US border guard said "you didn't sign it". They arrive in the mail. Ohhhh.... shhhhhiiiiiittttt. Dad was driving - they have them they travel regularly - and I signed it and gave it back.
I flew Buffalo to Boston return. It was so easy, just stick your boarding pass in it, hand it to the guard at the back of the line to go through the search process... and she gave it right back. No fuss at all.
I should get them for my kids. After the 23rd and the rush. I'm not doing dh... he can do his own.
Nearest passport office is only an hour away.
S.
TOO FUNNY Robin! Sorry you had such a hard time, but don't feel bad, south of the border we have to do the same thing...with the same questions.
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