Wednesday, November 15, 2006

OH GOD, SINGLE AGAIN

Tonight I told the Prince everything we've tried to do to fix our relationship isn't working. After all the soul-searching, counselling and quiet desperation, I need the hurt to stop - for me, him and the kids. He threatenend that if I said I want a separation, we were done. I've now ended the only two significant relationships I ever had. In one, the love had died long before I left. I'm afraid this time, the love isn't ever going to die, but it's still not enough.

He got a few verbal shots in before he left, told me I'd never find another man who loved me as much as he did. I wanted to scream, "I don't want anybody else. I wanted our relationship to work!" But I've cried that enough. Sometimes you don't get what you want. I tried to take the high road, and failed. "You're probably right," I whispered. "And you'll never find a woman who loves you as much as I have, but I hope you'll find someone who makes you happy anyway." He's moved into a hotel.

I'm feeling shocky, terrified and bone-achingly sad. Happily ever after doesn't exist. Somehow, I have to figure out what after this will be.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

PLEASE CALL ME RIGHT AWAY.
CC.