Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Tuesday sucked...probably a good idea I didn't post. After I'd commented to Mamacita that I was NOT having a good day, she innocently asked, "Why's that dear?" I heard little electrical noises popping in my head... Uh Oh. Snark spewed..."I don't know, Mom, maybe my tiara's crooked??" : o) Not my proudest moment. After apologizing profusely for being such a bitch, I suggested we go for a little mall-therapy.

Mamacita doesn't get out nearly enough and rarely visits the mall....we did the math and it'd been over a year. Something I really should have kept in mind...

Well-deserved (needed?) therapy aside, I was on the lookout for what's new this season, and as always, had a list of my favourites to buy...personalized Christmas ornaments. In the first trinkety store, she "Oohed" and "ahhed" over every sparkly sight. Literally EVERY single one. She dawdled so long I had to remind her it was only the first store and we could come back. *hint: I don't wanna die in this damn store, so let's move it along lady*

After that, things went quite well...until we passed the area where Santa's Workshop is set up for all the little kiddies to visit and have their picture taken with the jolly old Elf. I experienced a painful little pang for the days that passed too quickly. The joy of picking out matching holiday outfits and prepping my little ones for the big visit. The excitement of picking up the treasured photo that I would stare at with wonder each year. Impossible to explain to someone who hasn't been there, needless to explain to those who have. The memories made me ache, but I'm working on accepting the passing phase, so with a smile, I nudged Mamacita and pointed out all the beautiful babies dressed in their finery. If I were a smarter woman, I would've realized Mamacita has already lived through those pangs of her own, and has had all her grandchildren pass through this stage as well.

We hadn't yet seen dawdling.

Mamacita was the perfectly pleasant senior, I remember her type well. She admired. She struck up conversations with parents, to tell them how gorgeous and adorable their little ones are. Mommies preened, toddlers giggled and babies cooed.

I valiantly tried not to cry.

Finally, I was able to lure her away with a visit to the "It Store," my go-to for naughty cards...yes, I do send normal Christmas cards, but there's a select few friends who EXPECT naughty ones. Far be it from me to disappoint! I asked Mamacita to try to behave in there, because the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree, plus she's 60 - and Gawd love her, she really doesn't give a shit what people think. It can make for some really interesting comments. As I perused the cards, she had plenty of time to meander along...every now and then I'd hear her chortle. Next to me was what had to be an 80 year old man, dressed in his fancy going-out duds, scoping out the big boobie Christmas cards. Talk about self-control! It took everything in my power not to nudge him, wink and say, "So, you're the dirty old man everyone's talking about."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Mamacita was moving from the part of the store with gag gifts to the area that held...gag-me gifts. I went on high-alert, but I still had one card left to get. Thankfully, it all must have been too much for her though and she quickly joined me in the card section. Poor dear, she probably thought it would be safe there. Suddenly, I heard her make a choking sound, and as I turned she handed me a card. The front had a cartoon guy and a parrot. "I was going to get you a talking parrot for your birthday, but I thought that might suck." Inside: a bird with it's eyes crossed. "But I bet you've sucked a Cock-a-too." As I tried not to pee myself from laughing so hard at the look on Mamacita's face, I made my way to the cashier. Poor thing, she behaved, but obviously I'm incabable.

I really shouldn't have told her I almost peed myself laughing, because she decided she had to use the restroom before we left. {MY BIG MISTAKE HERE} I pointed out the facilities, four (4!) stores down, and told her I'd be browsing in Hallmark when she was done.

I friggen LOST my mother at the mall - because I let her go to the bathroom by herself!! No shit, 45 minutes and 3 phone calls later, I finally found her. Don't ask me how it happened, we're still trying to figure it out. She looked at me and giggled, "This is why nobody wants to take me anywhere."

When all was said and done, I had fun with her and the mall-therapy worked. I'll even take her back...but I'm getting one of those kiddie leashes next time. : )

1 comment:

Janet W. said...

What a morning smile: is this what we have to look forward to? No sooner than our kids grow up, we start losing parental units at the mall?